If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Bring me that man meat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
