he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You dont lie about slip and slides
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
