the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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