yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
