The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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