I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
