if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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