maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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