how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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