i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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