You can't special order awesome
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize