Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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