Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
