I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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