every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
