I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
