new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
