big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
