tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize