I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
