I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
