I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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