my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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