just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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