Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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