hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
