The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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