she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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