Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
