I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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