I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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