i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
