we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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