i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
