My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
