Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
And then he peed in my hair
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