Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.

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  (613): somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex. http://tfl.nu/eqpv
  Replies (16) Good night (4012) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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  (865): dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends. (302): You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win. (865): They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/4iwq
  Replies (13) Good night (2871) Bad night (461)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

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  (717): If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone. http://tfl.nu/j92l
  Replies (13) Good night (447) Bad night (2885) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.

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  (404): Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio. http://tfl.nu/i1ck
  Replies (8) Good night (2585) Bad night (1021)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?

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  (860): i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty? http://tfl.nu/lnd6
  Replies (42) Good night (1595) Bad night (3666) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year

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  (517): this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year http://tfl.nu/tikr
  Replies (19) Good night (8420) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.

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  (228): you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out. http://tfl.nu/9xp5
  Replies (19) Good night (3689) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline

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  (706): he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline http://tfl.nu/c26b
  Replies (6) Good night (1938) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.

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  (607): She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine. http://tfl.nu/vfal
  Replies (5) Good night (1648) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...

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  (765): We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often... http://tfl.nu/m3tb
  Replies (3) Good night (1887) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.

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  (248): Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/ylim
  Replies (3) Good night (1160) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap

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  (508): Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap http://tfl.nu/gn8d
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.

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  (610): I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life. http://tfl.nu/8k8d
  Replies (7) Good night (667) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

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  (202): She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top. http://tfl.nu/luup
  Replies (10) Good night (974) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf

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  (425): Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf http://tfl.nu/epw3
  Replies (4) Good night (263) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt

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