Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song