I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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