Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  O no, u 2 are dating again?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture

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  (760): O no, u 2 are dating again? (503): No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture http://tfl.nu/e7yu
  Replies (7) Good night (1067) Bad night (2324)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic

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  (303): i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic http://tfl.nu/ibrs
  Replies (44) Good night (5477) Bad night (1598)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut

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  (215): i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut http://tfl.nu/7c6t
  Replies (19) Good night (5841) Bad night (1432)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.

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  (631): You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/qol4
  Replies (5) Good night (3529) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.

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  (623): im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet. http://tfl.nu/it1a
  Replies (4) Good night (1822) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.

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  (912): He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again. http://tfl.nu/ik4l
  Replies (25) Good night (1450) Bad night (3078)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS

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  (509): HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS http://tfl.nu/4o5n
  Replies (5) Good night (1791) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

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  (407): That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan. http://tfl.nu/f7sf
  Replies (13) Good night (2345) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.

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  (805): OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine. http://tfl.nu/qt1j
  Replies (12) Good night (2740) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.

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  (985): My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong. http://tfl.nu/gho7
  Replies (7) Good night (1276) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.

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  (660): I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst. http://tfl.nu/whde
  Replies (10) Good night (957) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.

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  (410): It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again. http://tfl.nu/2qb3
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...

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  (+44): Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout... http://tfl.nu/yqu4
  Replies (3) Good night (318) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.

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  (503): He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science. http://tfl.nu/x9x1
  Replies (3) Good night (343) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit

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  (818): I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit http://tfl.nu/4a1u
  Replies (3) Good night (55) Bad night (178)

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