i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles