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somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
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