puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
