3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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