OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
