end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
