Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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