I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize