I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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