My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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