I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
