YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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