I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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