I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
