I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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