once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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