I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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