I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
