Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
