She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
