Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
