who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
