All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
