Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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