Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
