Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
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You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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