I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
