drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
