I think I won the penis lottery.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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